Gorgeous, painful. I'm going through a deescalation with my partner and I feel their gentle touch on my back, the dog-eared pages of one of their gifts, a novel, still untouched on my desk. I can feel that spark of rebellion faintly.. to heal. To go, run, chase what I want. I just still miss them and feel that the seasons are changing without me in that callous way. I've never read that described so aptly. Healing to both of us, friend.