I'm so sorry! Tech is heavily corrupt and patriarchal. I've been a dev in tech for 5 years and witnessed more than my fair share of sexist jokes, misplaced humor, my ideas sidelined and being walked over in meetings. But, the worst part for me was the pitted competition you described. I genuinely wanted to befriend other women / non binary people in my first few gigs but it was impossible - the other women were always steeled, even downright mean (with good reason) to force men to take them seriously. At the cost of relationships or solidarity with other women. Tech thrives off of our isolation.

I'm a freelance reactive dog trainer now, still in the experimentation stages but I'm relieved to be out too. Their loss, honey.