Such a touching piece! I got caught in a mass layoff over a week ago and my long distance partner, who was visiting my new city, flew back to Baltimore last weekend. Both felt like you described - a horrible, disorienting drug withdrawal. A sudden removal of routine. Humans (we) are so routine-oriented. So when I suddenly had no team standup to jump on at 10am to say what I worked on the day before. And no one to kiss and make pancakes for, to sit beside at a meal, to tell about my day... I knew I was suffering from low dopamine and a lapse in consistency. Recovering from this kind of breakup really sucks. But I know getting back to a routine is what will ease the pain until I heal.