Thank you Cyril! Oh it is. Well, it's 4 years since I wrote this... and I'm ecstatic to report that I did a lot of self work in therapy and got into a very healthy relationship with one of my partners two years ago. They are a very secure person and it healed a big part of me:)

I just began dating one of my long term queer friends as well <3

I'd say the next step for me in 2024 is to focus on meeting my own emotional needs and doing more "re-parenting" of the parts of me that still hurt vs looking for a partner to fix me. I'm starting to see just how precious the relationship with myself is, and how she (me) needs to be my first priority. The lovers in my life are amazing but they can't replace the way I love myself.